We are all looking for Love. Musicians sing about it, writers write about it, and sculptors sculpt about it. The point is, we are social creatures that crave intimacy, whether it be for a night or for multiple nights … consecutively … for months … or even years.
Sometimes it’s easy to forget this as we get caught up in our lives of work and whatnot, but it’s true. It doesn’t matter if you are a twenty-something raver or a fortyish business owner, if you have been out of the game for a while, or just plain struggle to make things work, you are in luck. NID is here for you, and with just a few simple tips, you will be on your way to getting what you want.
Musical events are great for landing some love. The dancier the concert the better, because with higher energy comes heightened moods and elevated contact. It is a fast paced environment, but soon you will be navigating the seas of the dance floor like a pro.
First and foremost:
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT
Whether you are looking to score with the hottest of hotties in the club, or you are looking to get a dancing partner on the regular, the first step to making things happen is knowing what you want. Be honest with yourself. If you are just looking for some bedfellow, make that intention clear. Be upfront about it.
We are not suggesting you should be an overly-aggressive douche. Get to know the person first, but make your intentions known at one point or another. You have to do this in a respectful way, and if you are chasing tail, and that isn’t their thing, respect that.
Knowing what you want will ultimately decide where you go, what you do, and who to pursue. Not knowing what you want will send mixed messages, confuse your interest, and more than likely leave you missing out.
BE COOL, ENJOY YOURSELF
Don’t be a fuck stain. Being cool IS NOT acting like a prick, getting plastered, and passing out in the Uber home. You can fucking forget getting that taste of love during the wee hours of the morning. To be real, being cool is being genuine, and fitting in. Dress appropriately for wherever you end up going and put your best foot forward.
If you are at a bar concert, you can dress more casual but if you are at a high end night club, you may want to step your game up a bit. You want to look like you fit in because this insures that you not only have the highest chances of finding someone with similar interests, but that you are in a place where you can feel most yourself. When you are most yourself, you come off as confident, and confidence is attractive no matter who you ask.
There is someone like you, looking for the same things as you — it is your job to find them. So be social and have fun. Spread that confidence around and enjoy the night. Meet as many new people as you can. This improves your chances of finding the one that will stick, and also demonstrates to them that you know how to have fun.
When you do find that special someone make your interest clear, and keep conversation light. Get to know them, and be enjoyable. If you are interested in them and they are interested in you, you are set. Ask for a dance if you are not already dancing together. Your objective from here on out is to make the best night possible for both yourself AND them.
Now that you have established an objective, found the one, and established yourself, it is time to …
SEAL THE DEAL
If you are out on the dance floor, this could be somewhat awkward, because chances are you and cutie patootie are surrounded by lots of strangers, friends, and loud music. This is where a wingman would be perfect.
Have them step in to assume attention, and take yourself and your interest to the side. Make your intention as clear as you can at this point. Lay things out on the line. Get the number. Ask them out. Extend the invite back to your place.
Whatever it is you have to do.
If you have no wingman present, another approach is to wait for the night to wind down. When the night is coming to an end, and everyone is heading out, you can hang back and make your move. Ask them to hold on for a second, and do the damn thing.
If they say yes, GREAT. You succeeded. Mission Accomplished. It’s making love time. The clock has struck Sex o’clock and you are not going home from the ball alone … if that was your objective.
If they don’t, no worries. Things don’t work out for a number of reasons all the time and life goes on.
Just rinse and repeat until you get it.
About Ben Goldfarb
Associate Editor Ben Goldfarb covers the nightlife, entertainment, and community scenes, writing articles, reviews, and contributing photography.