I’m still living in Miami. Let’s face it, Ohio is not the ideal place to spend the winter. Between seasonal affective disorder, and our shitty drivers, it’s just an awful place to be during the colder months.
So we at NID decided we had to get out of town for an extended holiday before the winter blues swallowed us.
Okay, maybe this trip wasn’t as premeditated as all of that, but in retrospect, that would have been a perfect excuse for our adventure in Miami. In reality, it was 3 a.m. when we decided to skip town.
As we stumbled into the terminal, we could tell that the ticketing agent working the check-in counter was not excited to be dealing with our drunken antics at such an early hour.
By 6:30 a.m. we were on a plane headed to Florida.
The plane ride was simple enough, as we hadn’t yet slept — so we all went lights out during the flight.
When we arrived in Miami, we were groggy to say the least. No one said a word on our Uber to the hotel. I was in awe at the magnificent street imagery that seemed to be everywhere.
Our hotel, The Delano, was a work of art. The magnificent, art-deco building exuded elegance.
Our rooms weren’t quite ready for us upon arrival, so we went to the back patio for brunch. Once we finished, our accommodations were available, and we had a decision to make— sleep or party on.
I’d like to think you can guess which option we chose, but for all you people who aren’t familiar with the way we do things, I’ll clue you in.
As VIPs, we kept the party going.
The view from our South Beach hotel suite, overlooking the pool, beach, and ocean was just too enticing to allow any form of unconsciousness.
We did not take it easy for dinner, because why would we? We had to celebrate our impulsive decisions, right?
Caviar, lobster claws, and steak graced our palates, complimented by fine wine and champagne. After dinner, it was time to find the party.
Rumor had it that Columbus native Alan Epstein was manning the decks at Do Not Sit On The Furniture, so we figured we’d check it out.
We rolled in around midnight, and hit the bar to the sound of some delicious techno.
We hung out for about an hour before deciding to find yet another party. We collected ourselves at the poolside bar at the Delano, and made a few friends to take on our adventure.
We closed the night in ridiculous fashion at the Broken Shaker, arriving five minutes before close. We bought beers and then got asked politely to leave.
It wasn’t far from the Delano, so we took our beers and walked back, pausing at regular intervals to cause a ruckus. The night was warm, and the hotel pool beckoned invitingly as we reveled.
The next morning we rose early, ready to kick it yet again.
We took to the streets to find a nice spot to watch some football, ending up at the Clevelander. As luck would have it, we ran into another old Columbus friend, Silas N. Brown, and proceeded to tear that place up.
By the end of the game, the better portion of our posse was lucky to still be standing.
The outdoor bar at the Clevelander was a god damned circus.
The DJ was already playing when we got there, and the MC started at noon. They brought out dancers to gyrate on the stage and the roof.
And then came the body paint.
To say the least, I found it difficult to pay any attention to the football game at all.
The rest of the night was composed of one excruciatingly delightful encounter after another, even running into former NID Magazine Creative Director Shane Levine.
We took it easy on Sunday. I’m extremely glad we did, because had we not, we would have come back from this spontaneous trip in worse shape than when we left.
All in all, this was one for the ages.
We should have waited a week to catch Art Basel, but hey, you can’t always control your exploratory aspirations — you can only follow them, ready to take on the unexpected while creating the reality of your journey.
Farewell for now, Miami Beach.
It’s too cold here in Columbus.
We’ll be flying again, soon.
About Eli Rousculp
Eli Rousculp writes reviews, articles and photographs for NID Magazine.